Vacation with the Lord

I have been given a few days away from the daily grind. A belated gift from my family for Mothers Day.This is not so much a formal retreat, but more a time of 'vacation with the Lord'. This is my second day in Cameron Highlands. Yesterday, was a day to wind down. In the sudden spaciousness, away from the usual routines, I became aware of how tired I really was. For once I could fully engage in the 'body awareness' exercise. I found myself paying real attention to the different knotted, tired and tense muscles all over my body. Somehow, in the routine days back home, I was never fully aware of my tiredness. Sometimes, I was....especially after stopping caffeinated drinks, but I still depended on the rush of adrenaline to carry me through. I believe the adrenaline rush helps most people to get through their busy and distracted lives. This is not to say that I have not tried to live life at a slower pace. I have, especially over the last few years, become more aware that life has meaning not because of the number of things accomplished but just because of God's presence in everything.
I found myself resting a lot yesterday. I never imagined that I needed so much rest but in listening to my tiredness, I was simply being present to myself. And perhaps this was the 'prayer' I was being invited to. For in being present to myself, I am also opening myself to God who dwells within. Simple presence is a first and most important step towards being attentive to the Lord. Yes, there are many things in my daily life that I will have to go back to. But whether I am distracted or centered depends on my attentiveness throughout the day. I may have reduced the number of things to do but I realize how I am seldom present to each moment. I may be doing something but often my mind has moved on to the next thing! This is why times away expose the distracted person that I am. As I 'rest' these few days I will remember to dwell fully in each moment....walking slowly, eating slowly, relaxing my tense muscles.....I have set aside any agenda about this 'time away'. I want to hear the Lord about a couple of things but I shall not make demands on myself or on him. Perhaps it is enough if I learn to pay attention to each moment, to live in the present moment and discover God's presence there.