The Well of Grief

The Well of Grief

Those who will not slip beneath

The still surface on the well of grief

Turning downward through

its black water

To the place we cannot breathe

Will never know the source

from which we drink,

The secret water, cold and clear,

Nor find in the darkness

glimmering

The small round coins

Thrown by those who wished

for something else.

(David Whyte)

It is only understandable that being human, we flee from pain and grief: the flight and fight reaction that helps us survive. And it is not a bad reaction, for it does protect us from hurts that could destroy us when we are too fragile and vulnerable to bear them. I was speaking was someone recently. She was beginning to have dreams about a relationship that had ended. It was something of the past, but as we spoke, it became clear that she was being invited to revisit the grief that had been short circuited in order to 'move on'. This happened to me as well concerning the death of my parents. They died in the same year, within three months of each other. That was twenty three years ago. I 'moved on' perhaps too quickly or perhaps also because I could not deal with the pain then. Perhaps it was a 'protective' grace. Anyway, over the years I have had to revisit the grief, slip beneath the still surface on the well of grief, turning downward through its black water.....This again has been a grace...of searching my heart, sometimes coming to places where I cannot breathe...and finally knowing the source from which we drink.
This source, God himself, will not let us down. Today's reading is John 16: 23 - 28. Yesterday, we read of the pains of childbirth and the joy that emerges from pain, in God's good time. Today, I am struck by the phrase " The Father himself loves you" (v. 26). This is the comfort for all those who are grieving or will grief at some point in their lives. We who love and believe in Jesus are loved by the Father himself. Isn't it true that knowing that someone, somewhere cares strengthens us? And what more if that someone is our dear Father himself. Remaining in His love makes it possible for us to face the pain and continue on each day.....trusting in the joy that will surely come as surely as the sunrise brings to an end even the darkest of nights.