Can you drink the cup?

Mark 10: 32- 45

"Can you drink the cup I drink or be baptised with the baptism I am baptised with?

There is a book titled "Can you drink the cup?" by the well known spiritual writer Henri Nouwen. The theme of 'drinking the cup of life' is developed in his book. "Drinking the cup of life involves holding, lifting and drinking. It is the full celebration of being human".

I can imagine the scene: Jesus predicts his death the third time and immediately two of the disciples come up to him and ask for places of power in his kingdom! How callous and insensitive to their Master! How much this is a mirror for us of human selfcenteredness. Of course there was a sense that they could not understand and perhaps were fearful (v. 32), as they followed him on his way to Jerusalem. Isn't that the way we feel when led by our Lord to certain places in our lives? We can hardly bear to think of what the Cross might mean for us. And the most common reaction would be to deflect our feelings of uncertainty and seek solace in some form of security. For James and John, the places of honor were such places of security that would help them deal with their fears.

I first read the book by Nouwen about ten years ago and again several times since then. Each time, I have been moved by a different aspect of "drinking the cup". Perhaps it is as life changes and new challenges emerge that I have 'heard' a different yet appropriate message each time. There was a time several years ago when I was extremely fearful about what my genetic kidney disease would mean for me in a number of years. It was a fact that made me so fearful that I could not even look at that fear squarely. Inside me, I was running away from the truth and the facts, seeking something, anything that would provide solace. For a time, even reading Scripture did not help much because the words just flowed off me as water off a duck's back. My experience of fear was so great that it formed as it were a kind of barrier and 'deafness'. I was so preoccupied with my own fears that I could not let in the Lord's grace. I believe I was also preoccupied with trying to be 'courageous' as 'good' Christians should be. The Lord broke through when I finally could admit my fears to him, and stop either running away or playing at being courageous. I acknowledged how I really was, a tangle of fears and anxiety. It was there that I experienced his loving embrace. It was then that I was freed to hear him anew, to meet him anew and to look for him even in the midst of the pain.

Nouwen writes, "Drinking the cup is an act of selfless love, an act of immense trust, an act of surrender to a God who will give what we need when we need it. It is about being a servant instead of a master, about giving up our lives instead of controlling other people's lives.

Nouwen's questions are still before me: Can you drink the cup? Can you empty it to the dregs?

Can you taste all the joys and sorrows? Can you live your life to the full whatever it will bring?

The answer may be "Yes" because we love our Lord. But the "Yes" will have to be renewed each time we face new challenges. May the Spirit grant us the grace, through our freedom, to continue saying "Yes" to our Lord.