Living with dysfunctionalities

A week of dealing with many thoughts and feelings that need to be integrated into my life. I am a little more clear today, after speaking with a spiritual director and a friend. It seems that when I neglect the 'one thing necessary' for even a short period, I lose the sense of God's unconditional love that holds me and grounds me. Simple fact of the spiritual life - and yet we tend to easily go without the spiritual exercises for learning to 'be the beloved' whenever other things call for attention. So did Martha, in her well meaning service.

I also understand better how it is that we can live with greater freedom in the midst of the many dysfunctional persons (includes ourselves) in our lives. These are real issues - and yet there is nothing we can do to change others if they do not seek to be changed (and we have all been there). The most life giving thing is not to 'deny' the imperfections in these relationships, but to be aware and name them. Then comes the spiritual task of accepting the 'unfinishedness' of all human life/relationships on this earth. This does not mean we become passive and apathetic or even victimized - but we do what we can to change things (of course ourselves first) with lightness of spirit, with the sense that God sees every person so much more truthfully and lovingly than we could.....this means respecting others for the 'mystery' that they are, that only God sees with full clarity.

I suppose this is another way of concretizing what it means to 'let go' to God the unfinished in all our lives. We are conditioned by this world and even by Christian culture to 'solve things', to 'fix problems'....and sometimes we are called to do something - but many times it is living the tension and 'doing' in a way that is also 'not doing'. Paradoxes, incompleteness.......are part of human life, although we would rather not admit it.

I saw this rainbow early one morning in Port Dickson, on a one day break there a month ago, with a friend. A gift - for I just happened to go to the window and draw the curtains after waking up. It was timely, for in five minutes the rainbow faded away. The God of faithfulness is also an elusive God - who solves and yet leaves open ends for another time....another place.