Forgiveness

Matthew 18 : 21 - 35

The past week has been trying - with the wc acting up repeatedly and having people over to work for two days (meaning I have to clear up after them). Then a faucet gave way and water was spraying out in all directions. I was about to leave for the weekend retreat I was helping at but thankfully, the faucet 'behaved' (divine providence!!) and stopped after a while, as I turned it this way and that. Anyway, the wc is acting up again today and speaking to the plumber - they may have to open the manhole to see if there is a mechanical block. Even my car needed an oil leak to be fixed and had to be at the workshop for two days.

Such are my Lenten experiences - pretty mundane ones of inconveniences and busy -ness. Life is seldom full of 'glorious sufferings for the Lord' - and this is the humbling irony of being human.

Forgiveness - granting mercy to others is a gift we offer to those who don't deserve it. How unfair it sounds but again how unfair for our merciful God to forgive our own iniquities time and again. One 'person' we also need to forgive is ourselves and this can be difficult because we certainly do not want to err on the side of rationalizing our sins. "All have sinned and fall short....." At the same time, Paul reminds us that "There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus..."

Forgiveness is a process whether of self or others. I have journeyed with people who understandably find it difficult to forgive what has been done to them - when it is an action that changes their lives forever, not a transient word of injury. I know I cannot rush them on. Feelings of anger will surface time and again. Though one thought i have had is that we often get stuck in the 'victim' identity - and being a 'victim' gives one the right to continue feeling the injustice. But it also prolongs the injury. I wonder whether it would help to ask God for the grace to see oneself as more than a 'victim', to see oneself in God's eyes as precious and beloved. The precious and beloved one does not have to continue to feel victimised......and cling on to feelings of being shortchanged.

There is no short cut to forgiveness. To be able to 'want' to forgive is already a sign of God's grace at work in one's life. Maybe the Lenten journey will encourage us to seek more and more of the grace.