Staying with the experience

I find that in many spiritual accompaniment meetings, whether individual or group, people have the tendency to talk in terms of "we"........and in a while, sometimes quite unconsciously, the issue becomes externalized and generalized and everyone is agreeing to a generalized statement. There is always a difficulty for us to "stay" with our own experience, to own it and even if it is not a nice experience, to be able to wait it out. Someone has called this "sitting in the weeds" (think it was Teresa of Avila). There is always a tendency and maybe this is the 'learned response' from our evangelical tradition, to try to minimize or rationalize personal experiences and to provide the 'right' answers to spiritual issues. The opposite tendency is to wallow in the weeds and of course that is also not helpful. In this instance, the feelings and experience become the main focus of the discussion and become enlarged. This leads to self introspection (why am I like this, poor me and so on) and may almost become a therapy session.

So a balanced approach is required. And it is not easy. I really value those spiritual companions who have helped me "stay" with my experience - when the tendency is to speak in generalizations. Such persons were people I trusted - to be able to bare the real me, for self acceptance (not approval) is required before any step towards change. One needs to feel truly accepted by the spiritual companion or group in order for these helpful dynamics to take place. Self acceptance is "owning" the feelings, the thoughts, whatever they may be, in order to move from that point with God's grace. And it may take time.....there may not be resolution of painful and confused feelings during a particular session. And as companions we need to trust the Spirit in the other person's life.......and continue to uphold......it may time some time before any 'breakthrough' occurs - and that is God's gracious gift.

Every experience is a spiritual experience.......when we ask "How do I live with God in and through this?" This is the question that emerges from our deepest desire.....