Still unwell

The viral infection seems to be a prolonged one. Naren is still tired and lacking in appetite although his fever has subsided - or maybe just a low grade one. The cough is only slight at present. But there is still a concern to watch for further signs of the flu. It seems to present in so many different ways in people - from mild to life threatening. And it is really 'out of control' now in this country, even though the numbers are just over a thousand - confirmed cases.

I was talking to a spiritual friend today - and we were agreeing that as time goes on - we realize we 'don't know' more than we 'know'. It's part of the spiritual journey where one is led into the 'mystery' of God. It's part of the apophatic pathway, where God is known more through darkness and unknowing, rather than clarity. It's a valid pathway that some of us may be led through. At the start, it is confusing because we feel as if we have 'lost' the comfortable ways we have always known God.

But it is also a pathway that is freeing - that is, if we are willing to 'let go' and trust that something is happening even in the darkness.

I know that I am being led through this pathway. It was difficult at first because of the 'loss' of former ways of knowing. But although I can understand the value, it remains a path that others do not easily understand - especially in the very head and word centered spiritual climate in our evangelical churches. I have 'dreams' of how restful a contemplative service might be. I attended one several years ago at my then spiritual mentor's church. It was 'home' to me. There were Taize chants, Scripture readings, silent moments for reflection, and time to share short words that we received. It was simple, gentle, quiet encounter with the Lord. Maybe someday in the (near) future, if the Lord opens the way, I could find a few people to join me in such worship at least occasionally. For now, the 'longing' is enough to relish and draw me on.