Faith belief systems

The application forms for the CPE program require quite a detailed personal history. In filling them up, I was reminded of significant events in the past that have helped me grow as a person, and have had an effect in my faith life and belief systems. (The question was: A description of the development of your faith life, including the events and relationships that affected your faith and inform your belief systems)

In particular, I became aware as I answered (from where I am now) that my faith is no longer as conventionally secure and certain as it was at one time. There was a time when my faith was sustained by certain doctrinal 'truths' I held on to. That security was much needed then, because I had not met God in any other way. Over time, I have 'lost' that type of belief system. It is not that I no longer feel secure about my faith, but that the certainty and security are based more on experiential knowledge embracing the theology rather than just the theology (cold facts) alone.

I got a new year sms that encouraged me with the words "God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow". That is indeed comforting. But I guess it is not to be taken woodenly. God is constant but we human beings normally change and grow and develop. The way we understand our faith often also changes, if we allow ourselves to be truthful to where we are. I know several Christians who struggle because one day they find they no longer 'fit' into the conventional mould of their church. Have they turned from faith, backslided? More Bible lessons and prayer meets perhaps in order to shape up. Or can they be reassured that they have just arrived at a different stage of faith than their church is at. No better, no worse; just different and needing the support to move on as they are being led by God.

I am thankful that for me, the most painful part of finding that I 'don't fit in' is mostly over. As I wrote the application, I recalled the time of 'loss' that came with that stage, and how I even had to grieve, in order to let go and move on with integrity. Not that it is ever easy to be at a different place (and still 'not there in any final way of course!!). But thankfully I have been provided with a few friends who are also embracing their faith changes and learning to wait upon God to lead them through.

I reckon that it is because God is 'constant' enough, that he can accommodate us and even make graced, all our developmental changes.