The gift of forgiveness

Matthew 18: 21 - 1 : 19
The other day, I saw an episode of Oprah where victims of violent crimes (done to their loved ones) were given an opportunity to meet with the convicted perpetrators. The victims had spent years trying to reclaim their lives in the shadow of the traumatic events (e.g. murder of a parent). They wanted for example to know their loved one's last words, they wanted closure for their loss. One of the victims was able, when she met the offender to express her forgiveness. As she said, that would not bring back her father or erase the loss, but she did it in order to bring closure and move on in her life. Even from a secular viewpoint, an important message about forgiveness is that it frees the forgiver.

Easier said than done. We all know how hard it is to forgive when the loss means so much to us. Jesus, as usual pushes the boundaries to the limit - forgive seventy times seven times!! Forgiveness is unlimited!!! When I hear this in the throes of a hurt, it doesn't sound too inviting. My sense of 'justice' cries out that I deserve to be treated better. Don't we usually react this way?

I find it helpful to pray to see the perpetrator through God's eyes. He or she is another human being, created by God, someone he also loves and longs to redeem. In this parable, Jesus points us to 'look at yourself' first. See yourself as one who has received the mercy of God. See yourself as one who at some stage was the needy one, coming to God for mercy. Did God withhold his mercy when I needed it? Where would I be if he had?

So, from the Christian perspective the need for forgiveness is not only 'freedom' (in the psychological sense) for the forgiver. It is passing on something, a gift 'not of this world' that we have needed ourselves and received from the One who...in the end will redeem all things. Many things may be lost, taken away in this life by the hurtful actions of others...but they will be restored in God's good time. In the meantime, amidst the pain and confusion, forgiveness is granted, with God's grace, even seventy times seven times.