To be in 'first place'

Mark 10: 32 - 45

....even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve....

It is never comfortable to walk with Jesus. The disciples were astonished and those who followed were afraid. Before, I missed these interesting remarks by the gospel writers but now that I have grown more familiar with the gospels through the daily readings, I begin to notice these things. Here Jesus has just taught about the first being last and the last being first......and of course this is totally incomprehensible as far as humans are concerned. Throughout the history of mankind, wars have been fought, and personal conflicts have arisen simply because of the drive to be 'first', whatever the prize may be - honors, material gains, sense of achievement.......or as James and John would prefer - seats on the right and left of Jesus when he rules in glory.......

Jesus' 'glory' would come only after his passion and that was the point his disciples did not factor into the equation. They looked for a more straightforward and easily wrought 'glory'. But Jesus loved them too much to let them get by without true spiritual formation. He teaches them and would soon, as we now know, be a model of self giving service.

I am still mulling over several thoughts in a booklet on motherhood by Stasi Eldredge. "Motherhood costs you greatly" is one of the chapter titles. As I look back over my almost twenty years of experience, it does cost. I realize now that the many struggles I have had being a mother have been related to being unwilling to accept the cost, the sacrifice. Yes, being a mother requires much hidden service - that is unseen and unrecognized by the world outside. It may seem more 'spiritual' (and fruitful) to be involved in some ministry outside the home, but often the hardest work takes place within the four walls of home. Family members often take things for granted after a time. It is where I learn about true 'greatness' of heart. It is where the Lord places me last so that I can grow to be first his way.