The Journey of Desire (7)

"If this is not my home, how can I ever feel at home here?" the sea lion asked. "You will, in time." The tortoise appeared to be squinting, his eyes a thin slit. "I have seen the sea, and it is not better than what you have found here." "You have seen the sea!" "Yes, come closer," whispered the tortoise, and I will tell you a secret. I am not a tortoise. I am a sea turtle. But I left the sea of my own accord, many years ago, in search of better things. If you stay with me, I will tell you stories of my adventures."

The stories of the ancient tortoise were enchanting and soon cast their spell upon the sea lion. As weeks passed into months, his memory of the sea faded. "The desert," whispered the tortoise, "is all that is, or was, or ever will be." When the sun grew fierce and burned his skin, the sea lion would hide in the shade of the tree, listening to the tales woven by the tortoise. When the dry winds cracked his flippers and filled his eyes with dust, the sea lion would retreat to the water hole. And so the sea lion remained, living his days between water hole and tree. The sea no longer filled his dreams.

(John Eldredge: The Journey of Desire)

Many things hijack the often faint desire for 'something more' that stirs in our hearts and calls us to ask questions about the purpose of our lives. For many years we believe that we know where we are headed. We know the direction our lives are taking and we ignore the sense that comes upon us in quiet moments....the sense that we do long for something we may not be able to name, at least initially. This feeling often visits us at midlife...a time when many transitions are taking place, especially for women. They are experiencing physical changes, emotional changes deep within and situational ones like an empty nest or retiring from a job. All these raise new questions about what we are called to. The many answers we had that satisfied us earlier on are not adequate for this stage. We need to allow the new questions to emerge slowly, rather than submerging them under more dutiful Christian activity.

A friend recently spoke of a feeling that life is tedious for her and lacking in purpose, although her life is actually very blessed in all areas. She is a committed Christian who has served faithfully for many years. I encouraged her to listen to the stirrings of her heart rather than try to quieten them. She does not need advice on how to feel better or more Bible verses to provide the answers. It is much more important to allow questions to emerge in the very restlessness...first.......and then to bring the questions, in listening prayer to our Lord. "We cannot neglect our inner fire without damaging ourselves in the process" (David Whyte: The heart aroused)