Review of the year

Several things come to mind as I recall the year that has just passed. One of the most significant came not as something I looked for intentionally- but in God's own way and time. During the CPE training I went through early last year, I was blessed by the deeper healing of the loss of my parents, especially my mother, both within three months of each other........ the program was held at the very hospital where she was first diagnosed with cancer and had the first of several operations.

Another source of growth was the gradual but sure 'leaving the nest' of my children. They still stay at home, but being at an age where many young people are studying abroad, I have had to give them somewhat similar 'space' and not treat them as if they were still in school. This still has its ups and downs and we are still always working out some way that will give them enough freedom and yet enable them to live responsibly as they are still part of a 'home'.

Yet another evolving area is the way I understand my Christian faith these days. I can no more hold with integrity the very 'fundamentalist' beliefs I held on to that gave security...... as sure as I am of many things in our wonderful faith, I am growing unsure of many others.....and living with as many questions as answers. This step I carry with me into the new year......it will probably always remain a part of my life. The growing edge comes in being comfortable with where I am, in allowing God to lead, in not comparing with others who are at a different place.....and to live as authentically as I can from this new place of grace. I have just started reading a thought provoking fiction "Chasing Francis" by Ian Cron...where the lead character, a pastor of a large church 'loses' his faith in the sense of the 'tidy, boxed faith' he held and began to have more questions than neat answers...... and perhaps there are many Christians these days who resonate with such a stage of the pilgrimage....

Anyway, at the turn of the year, as every year in this millenium, there are many issues social, economic and political that are coming to crisis stage. May we hold out the real "hope" that only those who hold to the death and resurrection of Christ our Lord, can have.