Pastoral visits

Gratefully surprised, but because of my less busy schedule this month, I was able to volunteer to help out when some of the regular pastoral carers at Assunta Hospital are away for a break. I bumped into Sister MaryAnn last week when I went to have my annual "maintenance" checks and found myself asking her if she needed help over this festive period (although I would not be able to commit to be a regular carer). I believe it was something life giving that drew me. I felt the pull before, when I applied for the CPE training at the end of last year. So it was that yesterday I spent the morning at the hospital. I took a bit longer than before to cover the two wards i was allocated.......Sister was helpful as she came with me to the first ward and together we spent some time with a patient. Yesterday, i had quite a number of Christian patients to visit and was able to pray openly with them. Was very encouraged that all of them felt peaceful despite facing surgery or being incapacitated (e.g. complete bed rest) for some time. A couple of patients of other faiths 'taught' me a few things about how their beliefs impact the way they deal with illness.

I listened to someone with advanced cancer - who had been in hospital for a recurrence and for some surgery to relieve obstruction in the abdomen. There was sadness but not despair in her eyes; looking ahead to being discharged to a nursing home, as she requires wound dressings. She has opted to stop all aggressive treatments and 'prays to God' (she is a Buddhist) for a miracle. Being just 52 in age, I can imagine her desire to live on longer. But there was an air of serenity as she spoke, a degree of acceptance of her condition, coupled with hope for the best. Another significant visit for me was to an elderly woman. With her I had a (quite) bit of trouble with language and occasionally could not understand her. But i gave her listening time, and with that i have to trust that God's love can be shared even without having adequate vocabulary. I came away though, wishing that I could reassure her of her 'value' despite her being rather dependent now (had previous leg fractures) and quite house bound. Such is the mindset of most people that when a person grows older and dependent, no longer 'contributing' actively to others, they have lost their value. This is so common among the elderly that my heart goes out to them. Perhaps my inner reactions are a reminder to me of my own struggle with being less 'productive', my own struggle with feeling inadequate even when I believe it is a good choice to live a quieter life. I must continue to listen to the Spirit; allowing the louder noises from the self to lose their hold on me. Again i remember my dear friend who occasionally reminds me "you don't have to 'justify' your existence!" (by being productive). Being with the sick in pastoral visitation is lifegiving for me. It takes me away from the 'medical' role to provide 'cure/answers'. I can be a fellow human with another fellow human without any pressure to provide solutions. Thanks to God.