Birthday surprises

I am so grateful for the 'colorful' birthday this year, although it seems this year the greetings, meals and gifts have all come early. First from a friend two weeks ago, as she was going on holiday after that and will be back only in a week's time. It's been some colorfully wrapped gifts and a couple of meals; especially memorable being the special ice creams. Today i received a surprise bouquet of flowers. Really bright and beautiful. Something to enjoy just as it is, while the flowers are in full bloom. I already had a thought of whether i could press some of the flowers when they dry up, but decided to let that utilitarian thought go for the time being. Since my birthday is tomorrow, i shall leave two other wrapped gifts to open tomorrow... my family insists on a meal out over the weekend, although i would just as well be satisfied with some ice cream.

I believe the Lord is also saying something through all this....and that is, "enjoy the surprises of life that i bring to you, trust me - the one who loves you and wishes good for you."

All these thoughts come at a time when i am praying for greater freedom to allow God to be God.......firstly, to accept my spiritual poverty and total dependence on God (The Two Standards), and secondly in making choices, to ask God what he wants - the Third Type of Person (rather than offer him what i choose, thereby being in control again)

It has been revealing in the recent prayers to recognize how i take control of things, as a default option, thus leaving little room for trust and dependence on God.... yet the 'freedom' comes not by willing it from myself, but lightly and gently, as a gift from God, as one prays and asks for it. At this stage, i feel that i have let go somewhat with God's help, although the temptation to take charge is always present (being a 'default' option, it plays in the background, even without conscious assent sometimes.......) Perhaps even this is reminder of how dependent one is upon God, and how humbling to know i could not even seek him, if he did not give me the grace to.

"He who created you...He who formed you....says. "I am with you" (Isaiah 43)