Truth and freedom

John 8 : 31 - 42

...the truth which comes from God...

I am beginning to realize more and more how being 'free' is fundamental to us who call ourselves the children of God. I hear in my own story and in the story of others, how our struggles are linked to our unfreedoms, and very often these are internal battles, rather than constraints imposed from the outside. (Of course there are still Christians in some parts of the world where the chains and prison walls are on the outside.)

I believe we know how it feels to be 'unfree' in our words, thoughts and actions. We speak with double meanings or we speak without weighing our words as we react to the words of others. We are not free enough to speak the truth in love. We are also not free enough to ponder thoughts that are edifying; but rather get caught up in inner dialogue that leads us away from God, caught up in the self. Our actions too can come from being in bondage - to performance anxiety, to meet the expectations of others, or as a reaction to the action of others.

Our churches comprise people of all stages of freedom and unfreedom. Imagine how that unfreedom plays out when an issue arises! I am saddened but no longer surprised to hear of conflicts and turmoil in churches. Yet, imagine how it might be, should all of us work at freeing ourselves - according to the truth of Christ.

Such freedom does not come without a price. It is easy enough to convince our minds about certain truths, but it is a far longer journey to allow those truths to transform our hearts - such that we live with Christlike grace. Moreover the truth that comes from God needs space in our lives; and could not enter lives filled up with other things. I know I am still a plodder - not as free yet in words, thoughts and actions as I know I could be, with God's help.

On Monday I remembered as I looked at my diary, that I kept Tuesday to Thurs of this week free of appointments because I thought I could get away for a break. The days remain free of appointments but I have had to be around to give Sabbath her medication, twice daily. Also still need to fetch my younger son home when his friend drops him off at the Mayang area in PJ, after college. So I told myself - well, have a home holiday instead. But two days have passed and I have felt rather homebound and tied down!! Well, maybe a little 'break' - I have not done any cooking and did take the opportunity to have lunch with a friend yesterday. But I must admit I have been feeling sorry for myself....so much for freedom (in this case, from what 'I' want) and lightness of spirit that the Lord is trying to work in me. My little examen has thrown some light on my reactions and I look forward to a better day tomorrow, with God's ever gracious help.