Jesus knows the heart

John 13: 21 - 38

Jesus.....was troubled in spirit...

It must have been really heart breaking for Jesus at this moment when he knew how some of his closest friends would either betray or deny him. He saw through them all - the hypocrisy of Judas, the well meaning impulsiveness of Peter and certainly what was going on in the others' hearts.

It can be a little daunting to realize this is how the Lord looks upon us as well. And we would often prefer not to allow ourselves to enter into such an intimate relationship - we would prefer to keep him at arm's length.

The disciples thought that they knew themselves and Jesus well enough. Perhaps Judas grew disillusioned by Jesus' gentle revolution of love and thought he should be the one who took charge instead. Perhaps Peter saw himself as devoted and courageous, and so in his well meaning way offered his loyalty. Little did they know the shadow sides that would be their downfall. Jesus knew their hearts. His declaration about betrayal may have been the chance for Judas to turn back.....if only he saw his own heart and its folly.

Peter too, could have saved himself shame and failure had he understood himself a little better.

Even today, we are given the chance of seeing our deepest selves shown to us as we gaze upon the Lord. He 'shows' us our hearts, always kindly, always mercifully, always with the intent of transformation. Then we shall grow towards freedom: freedom from bondage to the evil one, as Judas was; freedom from an inflated sense of our abilities, as Peter was.......

then we shall be able to love as Jesus has loved us.