CPE 5

Yesterday, the CPE session was on a rather difficult topic: death and dying. We had inputs most of the day, including a movie to watch and discuss. It started off with a 'game' of experiencing the loss of our dearest people and possessions. It was revealing to find out our reactions when either we have to give up things or have them taken away from us. Giving away was not so bad - we still had some measure of control, even though we would lose something. But when that something we treasure is 'taken' it was really difficult - the loss of control, the anger, the sadness and helplessness came out. So it is with our lives - death is an inevitable part of life. As there is a birthday, there is a deathday for each and every person. So, there is just as much sense in preparing for it as there is in preparing for a new birth.

The well known stages of grief by Kubler Ross were discussed in detail (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance). That helped us to enter the world of the dying or grieving and understand what they are going through. Of course, some of us have been through these ourselves and begin to appreciate what being a 'wounded healer' means.

The movie "Go towards the light" was about the journey towards death of a 9 year old boy; from AIDS (acquired from contaminated blood transfusions). The parents had a difficult time coming to terms and actually helping their son go through this part of the life journey; although he seemed more prepared than they expected. I resonated with "life is a circle" - in the sense that when one's life is done, the circle closes. This gives a sense of 'completion' rather than how long that life is (with the assumption that the longer the span of years, the better). It gives a more holistic picture than life as a straight line from one point to another.

Anyway, it was a tough day for each of us. Many tears.....entering into our losses....entering the losses shown in the movie. No wonder I felt more tired than usual! But it is true - death is a life stage that is inevitable - and can be prepared for. Nothing morbid - just, as a Christian we would say, "It is going home".