CPE (2)

The days pass more quickly because I have these two 'full days' in the CPE training; and other things have to be scheduled into the remaining days of the week. Well, as I told one of my peers in the group, we all have made some sacrifices to attend this, because we believe it will help us grow, each in our specific areas.

Again, the Lord brought me to attend to a call to support the relatives of a patient who had just died of terminal cancer. It was quite a coincidence because this patient had ovarian cancer, like my mother, and was about the same age mum was when she died. Brought back memories, but I realized I no longer feel the deep sadness, and I was able to offer supportive presence to the relatives, as they reacted to their loss in confusion, denial and anger.........

I have really enjoyed the ward visits and the challenge of connecting with people - even in broken Cantonese and Bahasa. A way to intentionally get over my mental block about my inability to communicate in those languages! It is also a way of trusting that God can use whatever limited verbal communication as long as I am aware that He is present in all the interactions.

One aspect of the training though, that I find I am a little hesitant about is the IPR (inter- personal relationship) that the group is supposed to experience. This is a process whereby each person shares as openly as possible with the others......about any aspect of their lives.....and the others will listen and respond to help that person's growth. As this was explained, I did not resonate - for one thing because I am a 'private' person in certain ways and it takes me a long time to feel free enough to share with 'strangers'. And the thought that after seven weeks the group will separate (maybe just when it begins to coalesce) leaves me a bit uncomfortable with the process. Well, I need to think this through, being an introvert - I process things in myself. Anyway, for the sake of the others (who may find this an opportunity to share in a way they have not had the chance to before), I would do my best to participate in a way that would be helpful for them.

Another 'new year' is looming ahead. As usual, I find myself slightly unprepared......and will have to find some time during the week to catch up on things!!