Remembering James, apostle

Matthew 20: 20 - 28

Are you able to drink the cup that I am to drink?

Today James the apostle, son of Zebedee, is remembered in the liturgical calendar. A faithful apostle who died a martyr's death. Yet as we read in this passage, there were moments for him, like for all of us, when he forgot who he was serving, and sought honor for himself. Well, both he and his brother John did, encouraged by their mother. Or perhaps it was more their mother's idea in the first place? Yes, as a mother I know - we do want the best for their children and might go to various means to achieve that!! I know that I did go through a stage when I was so 'protective' over my children....but those days are over, and I have grown much more free to let them make choices of their own (even if I have my own opinion about things).

Well, the intention was probably not all that selfish, and yet it was not what Jesus had in mind for his disciples. Again, I notice how really difficult it was for all of them (the other disciples were furious at these two brothers for trying to get the first places!) to fully embrace Jesus' way of service.

Isn't it really difficult too for all of us who try to serve the Lord as faithfully as we can? There is always the temptation to seek attention, to do better than others, to have more results (both individually and corporately as a church) to show.

To be with Jesus is to "drink the cup". But what kind of cup does the Lord have in mind for each one of us? I wonder if we even dare to ask him about this. It would be actually quite scary to hear his answer - most of us might resist and not really be able to hear him out. There are many believers who have drunk the cup of martyrdom and remained witnesses to the end. Some are called to bear physical conditions for which there is no real cure - the chronic illnesses. I have a friend who has suffered greatly from a debilitating connective tissue disease for many, many years. Sometimes, when she speaks about the physical pain, I feel helpless, but I believe that she has accepted it as the cup the Lord calls her to drink.

At other times, the cup is not so dramatic or bitter. It could be the call to a long routine of faithful Christian service, nothing in the limelight, but just the daily sacrifices, disappointments, struggles and temptations. Small mundane sacrifices can seem easy, but if they just go on and on and on, unseen and unapplauded by others, they can also be a difficult cup to drink.

We often do not know right at the start of our commitment to Christ what the cup might be for us. But the cup of suffering must always be seen as the cup of blessing as well.

"The cup that Jesus speaks about is neither a symbol of victory nor a symbol of death. It is a symbol of life, filled with sorrows and joys that we can hold, lift and drink as a blessing and a way to salvation. Can we embrace fully the sorrows and joys that come to us day after day?" (Henri Nouwen)