Sunday, July 20, 2008

Eightieth birthday

Yesterday night my family attended Mr Singam's eightieth birthday dinner. This elderly gentleman was the one who fetched my children to and from school for the past eight years or so, in his sturdy dull blue Ford Laser. He finally decided to stop this part time work at the end of last year!
He is an easy going person most times, but there were instances when he would be easily irritable with the children (of course they were probably to blame as well - perhaps coming late to the car). I would receive calls from him to complain. But, if I just listened, without getting defensive, and tried to see his point of view, his temper would cool down quickly. And there were times when I had to gently 'persuade' him to help fetch my children for some activity or other, when I was not available. He might grumble and say he's not a taxi driver, but in the end, he would usually do me the favor.
He likes to have his drink at the end of the day, at his 'club' with his group of friends, some of whom we met yesterday. As I listened to them - we were at the same table with several of his 'club' friends, I realized that there was a bond of friendship between them. Somehow, they had got to know one another well, by drinking together, and sharing the ups and downs of their lives. But underneath the talk, I could sense some deep needs that were not being met. There was a restlessness beneath the jolly exterior. But I admit I was rather distracted, and did not listen well. After we got home, my husband told me that one of the ladies was a single parent and struggling to get her children into higher education. I truly did not listen well. I was 'closed' and missed an opportunity to extend to someone the gift of attentive listening, even if I could not help in any other way. Today, my 'review of yesterday' brought this lapse to mind. Next time, with the Lord's help and prompting, I hope to do better.

No comments: