Purpose at mid-life

Today the church calendar notes the birth of John the Baptist. In our Protestant tradition, we do not mark this event. But what I learn from John's life is that his life was planned by God right from before conception. And subsequently, he cooperated in order to fulfill the Lord's task for him to herald (as a voice crying in the wilderness) his cousin, Jesus Christ.

As I search for the purpose of my life - anew at mid-life (I think this parallels and can be just as painful as the adolescent search for meaning and identity) I have to ask 'who I am' - who God has created me to be. All my 'do-ings' up to this point have given me a sense of who I am, given me an identity. But that is not all there is to me. There is much more than my do-ings, good as those may be. And I need to hear from the Lord as he helps me look deeply at my life, at everything that has formed and de-formed me. To gratefully embrace all that has been formative/transformative and to let go, willingly forgiving all that has been deadening.

I think it is not a coincidence that in my prayer, the Lord has been leading me to the place of sorting and I've been there for some time now, slowing looking at each thing, treasuring the gifts and graces.......and asking him what to do with the worn out 'junk'. The work will not be completed in a short time - there is much to look at, appreciate and embrace, to grieve and let go. It is not like my spring cleaning efforts at home where I usually give myself a time frame to finish the clearing. This work needs much patience, deep trust in the One who loves me more than I could imagine. There is the urge to say "I want to move on, I want to 'get on' with things" - my impatient self speaking- but it is not so in this important soul work.

We need to cooperate with God so that his purposes are fulfilled in our lives. John the Baptist cooperated - even going into the desert and feeding on wild locusts as part of his spiritual formation!!! (Of course his was not a mid-life journey but undertaken during his youth) That was to empower him to go back into the city to proclaim the Lord's call for repentance, and to prepare the way for his Lord.

Whatever soul work has to be done at mid-life is worthwhile. Even if it means pressing the pause button more often than ever before. Even if it means spending some extended time in the dusty cluttered storeroom we would rather avoid. These times become graced because the Lord himself leads us there.