Spiritual mentoring

Acts 20 : 28 - 38

Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock....I commit you to God

Paul continues his farewell to the Ephesian elders. It is wonderful to note how he speaks words of encouragement and prays for them, as their loving mentor, as one who has nurtured their growth in the faith, and gradually passed on the baton to them. This is a model of spiritual mentoring that is sadly lacking in many churches. I grew up in a church where people were more comfortable to be 'equals'; there was never much concern about coming alongside another person, for example, someone younger in the faith serving in the same ministry. I was fortunate, though, in being mentored, although the term was not used then, in my training as a lay counselor. The ministry of counseling presupposes some form of supervision, and the mentoring was incorporated into the supervision times, whether it was a peer supervision group or one on one.

"Keep watch over yourselves...." is an important word, for all of us, at all times. I would like to take it a level further than just to mean "keeping the faith". I would like to remind myself that even as I serve, especially in giving relationships, I need to be on the receiving end, somewhere, somehow. In my experience, although it would be ideal, sometimes, one just does not find that depth of personal nurture within one's own group in church. Sometimes, it is because within the ministry group, others are not interested (through lack of perceived need or simply lack of knowledge) in developing such relationships; which would be at a different level than working relationships. And sometimes, just being human, we are not drawn to grow such relationships with our ministry team members. So those of us who recognize a need simply have to look around, sometimes, even outside our churches, to identify someone who may help keep us accountable, to "keep watch" over ourselves. I can imagine how grieved the elders were to say goodbye to Paul their mentor, whom they would probably never see again. But his words of farewell would have been treasured and remembered whenever they needed encouragement.

"I commit you to God....." are the wise words of a mentor. We cannot hold on to those we mentor, or expect them to be a spiritual carbon copy of ourselves. In fact, they may grow in directions that we did not anticipate. The Lord may lead them to places that we personally would not be comfortable to go. Being a mentor is fulfilling yet a sometimes painful exercise of "letting go", committing to God those we have come to have a deep affection for. They may not 'do ministry' our way; they may not undertake spiritual disciplines in quite the same way. We have to let them go, helping them to listen to the Spirit in their lives. I have experienced mentoring relationships where there was some unspoken pressure to adopt the mentor's outlook. I have experienced mentoring relationships where too much 'freedom' was given - and that did not help either. It is a delicate balance for both sides to work through, giving feedback to one another as honestly as possible. Whether on the giving or receiving end, spiritual mentoring is a relationship worth exploring, at least during certain passages of our lives.