Asking....receiving

John 16 : 23 - 28

Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete

At first I thought these few verses had nothing to say to me. I almost gave up and tried reading something else but as a form of discipline, continued to sit with the initial passage. Some time into my prayer, I began to read again the words above. When taken at face value, there is really only one way to respond: to thank God for his promise to answer prayer. So perhaps it took me some time to realize that I don't find them as comforting as they first seem to be. I have always grappled with 'unanswered' prayers. Don't most Christians even if we seldom articulate it, for fear that others may think our faith is weak?

I wonder - when we ask rightly, in Jesus' name, and when we ask for the good of those we ask for or for ourselves (definitely not for wrong motives or for self indulgence, as James 4 warns), how is it that apparently, we do not receive what we ask for, quite often? I ask the Lord, why - when surely what I ask is not selfish but for what I believe is for the good of those I care for?

Is there another way to look at this? I wonder what happens if we look at what we do receive instead, what the actual 'answers' seem to be. Often the 'answers' seem to be nothing like what we hoped for. Does that mean that God has not answered our prayer? Maybe we should look at the 'answers' and ask what God seems to be saying. Perhaps the asking, although well meaning in itself, has been very much from our own perspective. Perhaps there is a place for finding out what God wants by listening to his 'answers', and then adjusting our prayers accordingly. Perhaps the 'answers' involve us in ways that we did not imagine - perhaps we are asked to be the 'answers' ourselves, in terms of supporting, encouraging, and walking with for example, a person who is not 'healed' of his disease, or someone who just continues to be needy.

I wonder if the disciples would have secretly prayed that despite all that Jesus told them, he would not really have to go through his passion and untimely death. If I were in their shoes I might well have - believing that I was doing it for the good of someone I cared for. Conversely, I wonder if they remembered to pray for themselves - to receive strength, that they might be able to journey with their Master, rather than deserting him.

As I think about all this, I begin to see that Jesus' words above cannot be understood woodenly. They are subtle, there are layers of meaning, there is so much to 'wonder' about. It is not about just seeking easy comfort. The questions of life are much larger than can be solved by quoting verses.

Is my faith weak because I have these questions? I hope not. For, in the midst of it all, I know that the 'answer' is not in a well argued solution that satisfies the mind. It is a person who has come and made his home in me, in us.