Shadowlands

Today, the Grief Support Group of which I am a member, will be viewing together "Shadowlands". This movie was recommended by the lecturer at a Grief Seminar we attended in October last year. It is based on the life of Christian author C.S Lewis, who was also a professor of literature at Cambridge. The movie depicts the growth of a deep friendship with Joy, an American woman who first got to know him through his works, and later through her visit to England. This friendship later turns into love, as Lewis (a long time bachelor)learns to recognize and accept what his own feelings for her that have grown and deepened really mean. It is a journey both of joy and pain for the couple, as they meaningfully share the remaining time Joy has left.....first in a short remission, and later as she nears death. Lewis is depicted as a man who is initially more comfortable living through his 'intellect' than through 'personal experience'. Two of his books "The Problem of Pain" written in 1940, long before he met Joy, and "A Grief Observed", written after her death, could not be more different. The former grapples with intellectual questions about suffering. The latter is written as one who has the authority of 'experience'. In "A Grief Observed" Lewis is no longer an observer, and shares his journey through the agonizing experience of grief and loss. The experience of loving and losing helps him share new insights based on personal experience, as compared with the 'neat certainties' found in his earlier books.

I watched the movie yesterday, the second time, in order to be able to share a few words of introduction at the viewing today. And I must say that each time, I was deeply moved. Call me a softie, or someone 'emotional' or whatever, but many movies do evoke deep feelings in me. (Even stories do that!) I have told myself that it is ok to 'feel' along with the characters, as it helps me to be sensitive to the many emotions that are true to life. It also helps me to recognize and name my own feelings, something that has been difficult for me to do. My mind has always been quicker than my heart to take control, and the tender feelings being much more elusive have often gone into hiding. The feelings I have been more aware of have been the stronger ones for example anger and outrage.
Yes, good movies (those with good character development and a storyline that mirrors true life) are my teacher about the emotional life. As they tell me something about myself, they also very often point me back to the One who knows me (with my tangled feelings) better than I know myself, who is nearer to me than I could imagine. I believe He uses all this to grow me into a more 'whole' human person.