Prayer of review

Being sick is no fun. Even if it is just the common cold. Especially if you are a mother. Even if the children are almost grown and would not starve if no food is available from mama's kitchen. I spent the day at home, not so much on official medical leave (I had no working slots today anyway) as by choice. It was supposed to be a day at home to catch up on home chores and on some preparation I am doing for a retreat next weekend. But with a nose flowing like a tap and a heavy head it was really no fun. But I have learnt not to fight what my body tells me. I did a number of things, but in really sl...ow...motion, at a pace that was comfortable enough in my discomfort.

And this evening, feeling a little better, I decided to take the advice of St Ignatius. He reminded his companions in the Lord that if they were sick and unable to fulfill their formal prayers, they should still do the prayer of review. I am amazed at how the Lord 'shows' me what I would normally miss if I were to look at the day through my own eyes. As I quietened down, I expressed gratitude for the strength to go through this day with certain things as planned, although much more slowly, by 'respecting' my need for rest. Then I asked for light into the workings of my heart. I waited for further insight and in a while what stood out was my attitude as I spoke to a family member earlier today. There was no conflict at all, but I saw that within me there was a motive of wanting to stress my own point of view. There was quite of lot of 'I' in my words. I thanked the Lord for his insight and asked for forgiveness and the grace to notice this earlier in future. As I looked ahead to tomorrow, I asked for the grace to remain attentive to my body, if I still feel unwell, and to be more aware of the "I" that readily claims center stage.