To forgive-much

Matthew 18: 21 - 35

Lord, how often shall I forgive.........

It is very clear in this parable. Disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ are to be people who forgive-much, and in fact again and again. But every disciple also knows that it can be the hardest thing we are asked to do! The spirit may be willing but the flesh is indeed 'weak'. Being on the receiving end of another's wrongdoing can be most hurtful. It makes us feel vulnerable, as if something has been taken from us - sometimes our self esteem, or our belongings, or perhaps we have been physically violated. That 'vulnerable' feeling is difficult to bear for long. And usually to counter it we react with anger, bitterness and a hunger for vindication. Those feelings are strong ones - they help us to feel in charge again of the situation where we were the victim.

But of course, such a reaction leads us only into further cycles of hatred and guilt.

In my own experience it is only when I can admit my vulnerable feelings to the Lord, that I find the grace of freedom. He is with me as the Companion who shares my pain; the grief and loss that came through the other's wrongdoing. That helps me stay with the vulnerability long enough for the Lord's healing to touch the wounded place. Then I find less need for the anger to build up in order to protect me. It is the Lord who holds me in gently sheltering hands, until the wounds heal.

Such a command, 'to forgive', from the Lord means that he will enable us. It is not humanly possible. It is also only possible when we learn to see the 'offender' very much like ourselves : in need of God's mercy.

The heartfelt compassion that hastens forgiveness matures when we discover where our enemy cries.....(Brennan Manning: Abba's Child)

The other issue that complicates matters is 'reconciliation'. This is possible only when both parties cooperate. Sadly, this will sometimes not happen this side of heaven. Some relationships are just too broken to heal here and now. But through offering forgiveness to those who have wronged us, we would at the very least find the freedom to receive and live in God's forgiving love.