Life and death

Lately, as I talk with friends who are midlifers, our comment is that at this stage we instinctively read obituaries in the newspapers. Not only that but we seem to have to attend more wakes and funerals than we do for example full moon celebrations for babies. It's that time of life where there are fewer years to go than we have lived. That is a fact. And it is not a matter of being morbidly concerned with death. It is merely a reality that is better faced than avoided. At the same time, we do 'celebrate' life and all the daily provisions of our gracious and loving God. And sometimes in the midst of celebration of life comes news of the end of life. Yesterday, I was told by a cousin of my aunt's death in Germany. Her husband is German and when my cousins were young they did come over to Malaysia every year or so. But there has been a lapse of some years since we last met up. In more recent years, we have not been in touch regularly. But she was the last of my father's siblings. And that somehow meant to me a 'closure' of one generation of the family tree. That news came even as I contemplated another year of life, because my birthday falls today. What does life mean to me? What is my purpose in life? I know the overall purpose God gives to all his children. But what is it that is specific for me? Am I doing what he calls me to do? Somehow, at this stage of life, I am not as 'sure' as I was before. Life is more of a mystery than ever. This does not mean I doubt God or have less faith, but simply that I am more open to the fact that as a human person, I am always growing, always changing......in a way that should lead me to be in my own unique way, a person who 'reflects Christ'. And the way God works is sometimes quite mysterious. Definitely very loving and compassionate but still sometimes not in ways that we can figure out at all.

Perhaps that is what life is all about. Learning my human limitations and growing ever more dependent on God. Be it life or death, time of celebration or loss, it is a great gift to be assured of being held in God's love.

I did receive an assortment of 'gifts' for my birthday....from a home cooked meal, to 'artificial' flowers that look almost real, to book tokens to books. And messages from friends who reminded me that it is a grace to be called God's beloved.