God's love in troubled times

As I continue to prepare for the retreat this Saturday, I believe that the key for all who seek God is to be able to experience God's love, whether in good times or in troubled times. The thing is that we can easily sense God's love in the good times, times when life seems so full and blessed with pleasant experiences. Well, that is a good place to start, because all of us have had such core experiences, if we care to look back at our lives. The problem with looking back only when troubles come is that we are so engrossed with the pain and darkness that we forget that once there was light and joy and that the sun will surely rise again.

Pictures like the one on the left remind me that just as green plants somehow find a way to grow and even thrive in between the barren rocks, so, in our lives, even during the hard times, grace is waiting to meet us and bring new life. In my own prayer lately, I have been going back to the simple focus of "being held in God's love". I discovered that when things do not go well, I actually begin to doubt God's love. Yes, I can profess that God loves me (after all, we know that old Sunday school song, 'Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so'). Indeed, we can cling on to the words of Scripture. But I wonder if these very words are meant to do more than that. When we receive a letter (or e-mail!) from a loved one who is far away we can hold the words to our hearts and treasure them. But our loved one is still physically far away. God, however is never far from us. So as we sit with God's words, we can humbly ask to encounter him, in and through the words. If we are quiet and still enough (which is the purpose of a silent retreat), we can hear him speak in a still small voice in our hearts. This is the 'felt experience' that we seek during a retreat. (For what fills and satisfies the soul consists, not in knowing much, but in our understanding the realities profoundly and in savoring them interiorly. Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius # 2). Of course it is God's gift to grant. But often I find that when I am still enough, for long enough (of course just remaining open and not trying too hard to 'make' something happen), the distractions fade and I become aware of the presence of God. His words are 'heard' as if personally and uniquely spoken to me.

The retreat will start as usual with a meditation on God's personal love for each one. Most of us, as we move through our hurried and sometimes troubled days grow a bit ragged in our felt experience of God's love for us.We do need to hear (and continue to hear) ourselves called "My beloved" by our loving God.