Compassion

Matthew 9 : 35 - 38

When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them.....

Jesus during his earthly life, showed again and again the compassion of the Father. Throughout the Old Testament, Yahweh had revealed himself as a holy God, who nevertheless is "compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love". Jesus incarnated this God for us and helps us to understand more concretely what God's compassion is like.

I believe that one of the ways we grow in Christlikeness is that we find ourselves more compassionate, more sensitive to the needs of others around us. It can be a 'painful' journey, because unlike Jesus, we find ourselves very limited in what we can do for others in need. But I think it is not so much about rushing to be the 'savior of the world' or about the 'Messiah complex' as some would call it. It is learning to see people as the Lord would and allow ourselves to be touched by their needs. Then we have to allow the Lord to tell us what he wants us to do, great or small.

In recent years, I have been moved when ....I have been attentive enough to notice people on the streets - those whose way of life hits a very jarring note to my comparatively 'comfortable' middle class life. These instances do not happen too often, because I am often in a hurry and very focused on what I am going to do, so nothing besides my own agenda matters. But by God's grace I have slowed down, and I do notice.....and some of the images remain with me. As I spent some time in solitude the last two days, three of those images came back. One is a homeless man I saw sleeping at a bus stop. A common enough sight in KL. But then, I was driving, on my way to a retreat and I felt something jarring within. It was a quiet road, and because of fear, it wasn't an option to stop and offer something. Then more recently at my local pasar malam, there was a beggar - not the usual one who might just have a leg handicap. This was a man with burn scars all over his body - full of contractures due to scarring; even his face was deformed. Strangely it was painful to look at him, though through my medical training, I have learnt to be calm even in the presence of the worst injuries. I found myself 'frozen' and did not give him anything although I had put something into another (more ordinary) beggar's cup a little before that. Last week, as I was getting into my car after some errands, I noticed a man walking along the drain and collecting empty cans. I wanted to offer him something, but I hesitated and he walked on quite quickly.

I need to bring these feelings to further prayer...to ask the Lord what he is telling me through my inner movements. My initial reaction was to feel guilty that I did not help, when I had the opportunity to. True I missed a couple of chances but I believe the Lord will graciously bring more opportunities. But more importantly, I need to understand what all this is saying about me. And as I learn more about myself, I will grow more open to how the Lord is working true compassion into my life. It is a process...step by step. I trust that he will show me as I listen regularly and faithfully.