Guidance and nurture

John 21: 1-14

"Friends, haven't you any fish?" "No", they answered. "Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some."

Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, "It is the Lord"

Jesus said to them, "Come and have breakfast".

Of late, I have been wondering: am I doing what the Lord is calling me to do and am I in the place I am supposed to be in? There have been disappointments when I look at my ministry of spiritual formation, times when in my excitement, I share with others what a privilege it is to be invited to a journey of 'renovation of the heart' and yet it all seems to evoke no enthusiastic response. I wonder if I am being relevant when I try to share with others the possibility of living a centered life, with a contemplative heart in a world full of action. It is not numerical growth that I use as the measure. But how do you measure changed lives and spiritual depth?

These questions arise when I feel discouraged. I know though, that in my discouragement, it is time to 'listen' again to the Risen Lord. Any course of action must be guided by him. He is the source and goal of any ministry.

I am glad for the Resurrection stories this week, for they bring me back to the core experience of meeting our Risen Lord. Today, I am reminded that I must listen to the one who calls from the shore, rather than trust my own judgment from my own vantage point. The disciples were in the boat, the 'right' place to be fishing and we would imagine them to know where to cast their nets. However, Jesus from the shore gives the familiar 'word' some of them have heard before (Luke 5). The voice of Jesus most often comes as gentle suggestions, an inner voice we come with experience to know and trust. How do I hear that voice? This is a question I have often (in frustration) asked my spiritual guides, knowing full well that there is no sure technique or method. And my guides are wise enough to tell me that I will know when I 'hear' it. I can imagine the disciples excitedly exclaiming "It is the Lord" when the familiar voice coupled with the large haul brings recognition.

The Lord not only guides but also nourishes. "Come and have breakfast". What we give to others does not originate from our own limited resources. What we give are the living waters that flow from hearts properly nourished first of all by the Lord. The Risen One is met in so many ways: through that inner voice of guidance, and through feasting on his Word and dwelling in his loving presence.